


Almost

by fandommatchmaker19



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, hurt character, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 11:30:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17466737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandommatchmaker19/pseuds/fandommatchmaker19
Summary: And, then there’s an explosion and Lucas can feel his body thrown against a wall. His last thought is of Vic’s face; she’s laughing, eyebrows slightly scrunched up, cheeks tinted red, eyes twinkling with glee.“I almost- II almost lost you!"A night in turns into Lucas having to leave. An explosion occurs and Vic almost loses him. In the aftermath, Vic has to deal with her emotions.This is for Day 5 Flashover of the Station 19 Theme Week





	Almost

**Author's Note:**

> This is angst! 100% angst! I hope you enjoy, though this isn't my fave.

It’s a quiet night, one of those rare Seattle nights when the sky is clear and the stars are shining brightly across the indigo sky.

They’re at Vic’s apartment and Vic’s cutting up some tomatoes for salad while Lucas is cooking lasagna. There’s two glasses of wine on the island that they occasionally sip and the atmosphere is relaxed, homey. _I could get used to this,_ she thinks as she grabs some celery.

“This is nice,” she says and Lucas hums in response as he comes to stand beside her, trailing his fingers up and down her arms as he wraps his arms around her waist and brushes his lips against her cheek. “I like this. I like it when it’s like this,” Vic comments after a while as drops the knife on the chopping board while Lucas continues to trail kisses down her jaw. “And, now, you’re distracting me,” she mutters, turning around in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing a tender kiss to his lips. Lucas kisses her back, cupping her cheek with one hand, his lips soft and gentle against her own. His fingers tangle in her hair and she deepens the kiss. It’s passionate and tender at the same time and they cling to each other, fingers grabbing fistfuls of hair, tongues dueling each other, bodies pressed together.

They pull away after a few heady seconds and Lucas rests his forehead against hers.

“I love you,” he whispers quietly and she smiles. “I love you, Victoria. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she replies, chuckling. Ever since Lucas had admitted to loving her he’d taken to telling her as much several times a day, but Vic doesn’t actually mind. “I love you, too, Lucas.” It’s his turn to chuckle now. “Now, as much as I love you, I really need to finish this salad because I’m starving. So, could you please keep your hands off me long enough for me to finish this salad?” Lucas just laughed.

“You kissed me,” he remarked, but removed his hands from around her waist anyway and went to remove the lasagna from the oven.

“I know,” Vic replied as she added oil and salt to the salad, then set the bowl on the table. As she grabbed the glasses of wine and put them on the table, Lucas brought the lasagna and the two of them sat down. Vic dumped a bunch of salad on his plate while Lucas served them both lasagna. They clinked their glasses and smiled at each other before digging in.

“I can’t believe we’re finally sitting down for dinner together,” Lucas comments after a few minutes while Vic bemoans the deliciousness of his lasagna.

“I know, it’s just that work’s been crazy the past few days,” Vic replies and Lucas nods. Really, she’d been having a lot of tough calls and she’d gone out with Andy and Maya several times when they were off shift to take her mind off of everything. “And, I’ve been avoiding you,” she blurts out. If she’d expected Lucas to be surprised, she shouldn’t have.

Lucas just quirks one eyebrow and says, “oh?”

Vic just nods. “Yeah, it’s just that there’ve been a lot of tough calls and I just didn’t want to talk about it. But, I can’t _not_ talk about it with you, so I’ve been avoiding you,” she continued and Lucas kind of chuckles, amused. “What’s so funny?” she asks, only a little bit irritated, but mostly confused.

“You got pissed when I avoided coming to you and didn’t call or text. You were angry with me that night, remember? But, you forced me to tell you the truth. Victoria, you know that you can talk to me.” He is looking at her in that kind, gentle, yet intense way of his, blue eyes boring into hers and she feels as if butterflies have invaded her stomach. Lucas’ hand reaches out across the table and Vic’s meets it halfway.

“I know,” she says softly, her eyes fluttering closed for a few seconds. “It’s just… I wish there was a save, Lucas. But, most victims we rescued the past week died on the scene, in the aid car or at the hospital. And, that sucks. That really sucks.”

“Yes, it does… suck…” he says, pausing as their fingers tangle together and Vic takes another sip of wine. “I know what that feels like, knowing that maybe you could’ve saved them if you’d done _something_ differently. I wish there was an easy way to deal with that when it happens, but I’m sorry to say there isn’t. But, talking helps, remember?” His voice is soft and Vic wants cry because he’s making her feel better already and she wishes she could stay in this moment forever.

“Yes, it does. Thank you… how… how do you always know what to say?” she asks, bringing her other hand to cup his cheek. Lucas smiles before pressing a quick kiss to her wrist.

“I _don’t_ always know what to say, Victoria. Remember our fight when I avoided coming home after I spent the day with 23 and almost died buried under a wall? Or when I froze after you told me you love me? I don’t always know what to say, especially when it’s about _my_ feelings. But, going to those meetings has helped me over the years and I hope they’ve helped you, too.”

Vic chuckles and Lucas frowns, confused.

“Those meetings _have_ helped me. It was at that first meeting that I saw a different side of you. I think… I think that’s when I started falling for you.”

“Hmm, I must admit that I first felt something when you yelled at me. I’d never realized, but until then I’d kind of closed myself off from feeling anything. And, then you yelled at me. Twice.”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned how my yelling affects you,” Vic quips teasingly and Lucas smirks.

And, then, she leans across the table and presses a soft kiss to his lips, both hands cupping his cheeks now. Lucas kisses her back, deepening the kiss, his tongue dueling hers until they have to pull away for air. And, then, they both stand up and Lucas closes the gap between them, snaking an arm around Vic’s waist as she wraps her own arms against his chest. His free hand hovers at the hem of her shirt and she nods, breaking their embrace long enough for Lucas to remove it before she starts working on his. She licks her lips at the sight of his toned abdomen and her fingers continue tracing, exploring the tightness of his muscles, the softness of his skin. Lucas unbuttons the jeans she’d been wearing sand moves her hands down, resting them at the hem of his jeans, fingers deftly undoing the button and zipper before she’s pushing his pants down. Her back is to the counter and Lucas is well aware as he lifts her up, causing her to squeal before settling her on the counter, in between the vegetables and the olive oil. Vic wraps her legs loosely around his waist as his mouth trails kisses along her jaw, all the way to her neck before he bites the sensitive skin there slightly. Vic lets out another squeal, dipping her head back as Lucas uses his hands to unclasp her bra. Her panties come off, then his boxers and Vic lets out a soft moan as Lucas continues his ministrations. When he thrusts, Vic digs her fingers in his back and her eyelids flutter closed as she lets out another, louder moan while Lucas grunts. He grips her waist tightly as he presses his mouth to hers again before she lets out a delighted scream as she reaches her high, legs wound tightly around his waist, leaving no space between them. Face buried in the crook of her neck, Lucas, too lets out a grunt of pleasure as he comes out of his own high before pulling away looking at her firmly.

“I want you,” Vic mumbles against his lips, and Lucas chuckles.

“I want you, too,” he replies, fingers skating along her back before resting at the back of her neck, soft and firm on her tingling skin and Vic shivers.

She presses another kiss to his lips, firm and demanding before gasping out, “bedroom, now!” Lucas nods and merely picks her, ready to carry her there when his phone rings.

“No,” Vic groans because she knows what the phone call means before Lucas can manage to scoop it out of the pile of clothes on the floor. “Please tell me it’s not FD. Please tell me it’s one of your sisters or your mom,” Vic whines, pouting as she jumps from where she’d been perched on the counter.

Lucas’s gaze is grave as he looks up at her after checking the caller ID. “It’s Captain Nelson,” he says, frowning.

“Tell him to go away,” Vic offers, petulantly.

“I can’t. I’m the Chief.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t have a reason.”

“So? We were about to continue what we started?” The look on Vic’s face is mischievous as she comes to stand beside him, trailing her own fingers along his waist, up his back, all the way to his neck where she tangles her fingers in his soft hair. Lucas lets out a grunt.

“I’m sorry, Victoria. I really am.”

Then, he picks up. “Ripley,” he greets, barely a hint of annoyance in his tone but Vic can hear it. “Yeah? What?”

Vic can only hear her boyfriend’s end of the conversation, but she can already assume that there’s a bad fire that requires his presence. Then, Lucas moves from the spot he’d been standing in, grabs his boxers and jeans before walking over to the living room and grabbing the remote. Vic slips his t-shirt over her head and joins him in the living room where he’d already turned on the TV. There’s an apartment complex made up of three four-story buildings that’s on fire and multiple crews are already at the scene.

“Have you vented yet?” Lucas demands, though his voice is soft, kind. There’s a pause. Then, “what? You need to vent. You need to vent as soon as you can. Finish that evac, get entry teams inside and start venting.” Another pause, then Lucas drags a hand across his face. “That’s firefighting 101. Don’t… just start venting. That’s an order from the Chief.” His tone is firm though his voice is steady, calm. Vic merely stands beside him, taking his other hand within her own. “Just continue to vent and make sure all civilians are moved. Also, tell PD to move triage several feet away. I’ll be there in ten. Bye.”

He ends the call and then looks away, but Vic doesn’t let him. She turns towards him and cups his face with her palm, forcing him to look at her. And, in the blue of his eyes she sees his very clear guilt.

“Lucas,” she starts but he cuts her off by pressing his lips to hers. Vic responds immediately, kissing Lucas back passionately, winding her hands around his neck and pressing her body closer to his. His body is scorching hot and he envelops her in his strong arms and Vic soaks the feeling in, letting the heat invade her senses. Finally, and hesitantly, Lucas pulls away and when she meets his gaze she sees the guilty look and her heart aches. “Hey,” she murmurs softly. “It’s okay. I get it,” she attempts to comfort him, but he shakes his head, refusing again to meet her gaze. “Lucas. Lucas Ripley don’t do this,” Vic says, her voice firm now as she forces him to meet her gaze again. “I’m never gonna want you to ignore your job because of me. Lives need to be saved and you’re the best person to do it. Me, I’ll still be here when you come back ready to continue what we started or just talk, if you want. So, quit feeling guilty and get ready. You told Nelson you’d be there in ten and last I checked you’re not a flying superhero.” Her tone’s light and teasing now and she’s smirking slightly.

Lucas chuckles before going to get changed while listening in to the TV. He leaves without much fanfare, merely pressing a quick kiss to Vic’s lips before he’s out the door and Vic’s left all alone.

She busies herself by cleaning the dishes and storing the lasagna away in a container. She eats some more salad, too, before throwing the rest of it away and closing the bottle of wine. She washes Lucas’ mostly full glass before taking hers to the living room where she settles in front of the TV. She browses through channels searching for something to occupy her mind, but continues to come back to the live footage of the fire and sees Lucas arrive at the scene, fully geared up. He delivers a quick statement before going over to the command center and mostly out of journalists’ sight.

* * *

When Lucas arrives at the scene, it’s total chaos. He manages to give a quick statement to the journalists in which he explains that he has yet to assess the situation for himself before going past the barriers and joining Nelson from 23. Beside Nelson is Maya Bishop and it looks to Lucas like the two aren’t on the same page.

“Sir, we have three firefighters inside!” Bishop argues, her face covered in soot and ash.

“I’m aware, Bishop!” Nelson yells before delving into another explanation of his actions. Lucas feels the need to intervene.

“Nelson, thanks for holding down the fort,” he says amiably and Bishop rolls her eyes. “Now, Bishop, what is the problem? I don’t have time to play mediator between the two of you,” he says, annoyed.

“Sir, there are three firefighters inside. Captain Nelson wants to send in more, but despite our best efforts to vent, flashover is quite possible and if that happens…” she trails off and swallows.

“Thank you, Bishop. Do you know their exact location?” he asks and when Nelson tries to protest flashes the captain a quick glare.

“Yes, two of the firefighters – Station 12, are inside B-side. They’re a bit, err… stuck, but they’re working on getting out. The third is from our Station – Andrew Nichols and he’s stuck just in C-side. I can get to him easily. The ones on B-side might need a little extra help, but I don’t think we should send in several extra crews.”

“Thanks Bishop, but I don’t want to send you in just yet. How far is Nichols from the entrance to C-side?”

“Not far, just in. A wall kinda collapsed in front of him, though, but he’s… he can get out. He just needs a little help. The guys from 12 on the B-side, though – they don’t really have an exit.”

“All, right. I want to know how stable the structure is, so I can send you in. Then, we’ll find Station 12 an exit.”

Lucas walked closer to the burning building and looked up, shaking his head. Two of the buildings in the apartment complex were connected and the third one was rather close to the second building.

Bishop reports back that the structure is stable enough since she would only go a few feet in. She’d contacted her colleague, and he’s slowly making his way through the debris. Lucas sighs and then orders Bishop to gear up, get her colleague out and get out as fast as they can. Then, a mayday comes from one of the Station 12 firefighters. Lucas knows flashover would occur any minute and he’s about to order Bishop to retreat when she comes out of the C-side, wheezing with a limping, debris-covered Nichols leaning heavily on her. Two firefighters from 23 bring in a gurney and Bishop all but drops him onto it.

“Sir, those firefighters from 12, have only one chance,” Nelson says as he comes to stand by him after checking on his two team members.

“I know.”

“So, what are we waiting for?” Nelson asks and Lucas shakes his head minutely.

“Give it one second.”

“They don’t have-”

“Nelson, trust me, they do. Now, just wait.”

Exactly one second later, building three explodes in flames and Lucas orders firefighters to surround and drown. Somebody hands him a SCBA gear. Nelson also starts fastening his on and the two men make their way to the building. Bishop takes charge of a group in securing them an entrance.

Visibility is so low inside that Lucas can barely see. His headlight barely gives any light, but it’s enough to allow him to figure out left from right. He and Nelson start slowly making their way through the building and Nelson tries to get in touch with any of the two Station 12 firefighters. They cut through debris and move with an agonizingly slow pace.

His radio crackles to life. Bishop is trying to tell him something, but he can barely hear her. There’s another mayday, but he cannot understand from who or from where.

And, then there’s an explosion and Lucas can feel his body thrown against a wall. His last thought is of Vic’s face; she’s laughing, eyebrows slightly scrunched up, cheeks tinted red, eyes twinkling with glee.

* * *

Vic cannot breathe. She can only watch as the building Lucas had entered seconds ago explodes and almost collapses in on itself. It feels as if she’s drowning, as if she cannot break the surface and breathe. She tastes salt on her lips and only then realizes she’s crying. Tears are streaming down her face and she is sobbing as she fumbles for her phone. Numbly, she calls Travis.

Travis is at her door in 7 minutes and he takes her in his arms and holds her as she cries, sobbing and heaving without abandon.

“I love him, Trav. I loved him. I… loved him and now he’s probably dead and I just… I can’t,” she sobs as Travis continues to hold her while watching the TV. Bishop is shouting at some firefighter and into her radio all at once. The captains from 7 and 12 join her in trying to keep the situation under control. Except for Vic’s sobs, it’s silent and Travis feels the need to say something but he can’t. Or, he doesn’t know exactly what he should.

“I wanna go,” Vic says, voice almost an inaudible whisper, breaking the silence.

“Huh? Where?”

“I wanna go to the scene. I wanna see… I need to be there when… Trav, I just can’t stay here and wait for someone to call. I need to be there,” Vic says and she stands up, going to get changed.

“Okay, Vic. I’ll drive you,” he agrees because he can’t _not_ agree. It takes the two of them 8 minutes to get there with Travis driving past the speed limit, not that he cares. His knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel tightly. Vic jumps out as soon as Travis stops the car and runs over to the scene. Firefighters yell for her to stay behind the line, to stay away from the fire, but she doesn’t care. She needs to be there when they pull him out because she thinks there’s no way he’d get out himself, if he’s alive. She doesn’t really want to think of what will happen if he’s _not_.

“Victoria?” somebody – no, not somebody, Lucas – yells and Vic spins around, heart hammering in her chest. Her breath hitches. _It can’t be,_ she thinks. Another tear falls down her face. “Victoria?” he calls out again and this time she’s nearly sure so she turns and lets out an audible gasp. Her hand flies to her mouth. Lucas is standing in front of her, a few feet away and he looks horrible. His left hand is cradling his right as his shoulder falls forward. His face is covered in ash and soot and there’s a long gash across his forehead. He has cuts all over his face and he looks like he’s barely standing, but he _is_ standing in front of her.

“Lu- Lucas?” Vic gasps and he nods and that is all she needs to move. She breaks into a run – Maya would be so proud – and nearly jumps into his arms except for the fact that they’re surrounded by fellow firefighters along with the press and PD and the fact that his shoulder seems to be dislocated. Instead, she settles for wrapping her arms around his neck and Lucas stumbles slightly before she pulls away, brown eyes staring deeply into his blue ones. “Y- yyou’re alive,” she blurts out and tears continue to stream down her face as she cradles his face in her hands, carefully examining him.

“Y-yyes, I am. I’m alive, Victoria,” he whispers, voice raspy. “But…” He wants to say more, that much is clear to her, but he’s in pain and he trails off, groaning.

“Hey, we can… we can talk later. Are you- what hurts?” she asks, pulling him gently towards the nearest Aid Car. His weight falls on her and she wraps one arm around his waist to support him as she guides him. She can feel the stares of their fellow firefighters, but at the moment she doesn’t care because Lucas is alive – seriously injured, but _alive_ – and, nothing else matters.

“Victoria-”

“You’re not fine, don’t you even dare to say you are. C’mon, I’m gonna help you,” she says as they arrive at Aid Car. Montgomery’s already there, bottle of water, gauze and a sling in his hand, trauma box open and at the ready.

“Think my shoulder’s dislocated,” Lucas comments as Vic grabs the bottle of water from Travis. Travis joins Vic, handing her the sling while he goes to dab the laceration across Lucas’ forehead with gauze. Vic hands Lucas the bottle of water which he drinks before she pulls his turnout jacket off of him to reveal his rather torn uniform shirt. There are burns and more lacerations across his body.

“Okay, I… how are you alive?” she asks rhetorically before jumping into the aid car and grabbing the heart monitor.

“I’m fine. Victoria, is this necessary?”

Travis begins dressing the wounds as quickly as he can.

“Very. Now, hush, I’m gonna listen to your breathing. Try to keep that shoulder still,” she orders as she grabs the stethoscope. His breathing is shallow so she grabs an oxygen tank and mask and puts it over his nose and mouth. Then, she grips his right shoulder and forearm and sets to reduce it. As she begins rotating the shoulder, Lucas’ muscles spasm in pain and he groans in agony.

“One… moment…” he gasps and she stops, gently massaging his shoulder. Lucas inhales and then Vic pulls before setting the shoulder and he yelps in pain. “Ow!” he yells as Vic prods his shoulder.

“It’s back in,” she announces triumphantly.

“Thanks,” Lucas mutters through his oxygen mask.

“Okay, this lac needs stitching,” Travis whispers to Vic.

“Yeah. And, his breathing’s a bit shallower than I’d like,” she replies as Travis sticks a bandage to his forehead. Vic grabs the sling from beside her and wraps Lucas’ arm in it.

“Um, sir, did you… ah, hit your head by any chance?” Travis asks uncomfortably.

“I fell against a wall, so I think so,” Lucas says, removing the mask for a second before putting it back on. Vic prods at his head. Her fingers are stained red with blood and she presses gauze to the back of his head as Travis wraps an immobilizing collar around his neck. Lucas isn’t too happy about that, but Vic won’t take any chances.

“Abdomen’s tender and rigid,” Travis says and Vic sucks in a breath.

“Shit,” she curses under her breath.

They load him onto the stretcher and Vic checks for sensation in his feet and arms. Once satisfied, she hops in the back with him while Travis hops in the passenger’s seat and another firefighter drives. She then hooks him to an IV and when he groans in pain pushes some morphine in.

Vic takes Lucas’ one available hand in both of her own and laces their fingers as the Aid Car tears through the streets.

“I…” Lucas begins and removes his oxygen mask. “I… love you, Victoria,” he breathes out, voice barely above a whisper. “I need you to- I need to tell you that-”

“No, Lucas, we’re not doing deathbed confessions because you’re not dying!” she yells in protest, squeezing his hand a little harder.

“Vic,” he whispers softly, pulling his hand from hers and bringing it up to her face and using his thumb to gently wipe away her tears. “I need you to know that I’ve been happier with you than I’ve been in a long time. I love you and you’ve… you’ve made me so happy,” he says softly and Vic cries harder.

“I- II’ve been happy with you, too,” she says softly, pressing a kiss to his wrist. And, then Lucas loses the fight to stay conscious and Vic’s left all alone holding his hand.

Vic is numb when she hops out of the Aid Car, Montgomery ready to help with the stretcher while several doctors are assembled in the ambulance bay. Andrew DeLuca and a red-haired doctor rush over to them and Vic recites Lucas’ status in monotone.

“Trauma Room 2,” the red-haired doctor says before introducing himself. “I’m Dr. Hunt,” he says curtly and rushes along with DeLuca and the others.

Vic pushes her way into the trauma room, eyes locked onto Lucas’ limp form on the bed as doctors assemble around him, hooking him up to monitors, doing ultra sounds and asking for other doctors for assistance.

“Um, Hughes, you can go now,” DeLuca says, but Vic shakes her head.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she says, throat constricting, the words clawing their way out of her throat.

“Hughes, we’ve got it from here. Is he a colleague?”

Vic shakes her head.

“He’s my… uh…” she tries to say but she can’t form a coherent sentence.

“He’s the Chief of the Fire Department. And, her boyfriend,” Travis answers for her before wrapping an arm around her. “Vic, maybe we should go. The doctors have got it from here,” he says softly, gently.

“No, I’m… I’m not going anywhere,” Vic protests fervently, shaking her head.

“Look, Hughes- Vic,” Dr. Hunt says. “I know you’re worried for your boyfriend, but we’re gonna take good care of him. Our plastics surgeon will take care of the burns and I’ll fix his internal bleeding. I’ve paged for a neuro consult, too,” he explains just as another doctor- a pale brunette comes in followed by another male doctor.

“What’ve you got?” both doctors ask and DeLuca reports. The room is becoming crowded, but Vic can’t – won’t – move, so she and Travis are kinda pressed against a wall.

The brunette introduces herself as Dr. Shepherd and examines Lucas before ordering a head CT and telling the residents to page her when it’s done. She says that neuro status seems good, but nothing’s for certain.

The other doctor – Dr. Avery – goes to work on the burns, recruiting one of the residents as well.

“See?” Dr. Hunt asks her kindly. “We’ve got him. We’re gonna take care of him. Why don’t you go clean up and drink some water and we’ll keep you updated. We need to take him for that head CT and then to surgery for his internal bleeding.”

“C’mon, Vic, let’s go,” Travis coaxes gently but Vic shakes her head.

“I- II can’t,” she sobs, but Travis doesn’t ask her this time. This time, Travis just grabs her and drags her to the waiting room and she lets him. He sits her down and then goes over to the vending machine to get some water which he hands her a few seconds later. Travis takes a seat beside her and wraps a comforting arm around her. Vic just continues to stare in front of her, tears running down her face, heart hammering in her chest. Travis pulls her towards him, but she fights him.

Half an hour later, Maya shows up. She’d been at the scene and taken command when her captain went into the burning building with Lucas.

“Hey, I came as soon as Frankel came and took command,” she says. “How… how is he?” she asks, her blue eyes meeting Vic’s and then moving onto Travis’.

“He’s in surgery currently. He had some internal bleeding. No brain injuries though,” Travis replies, glancing over to Vic in concern. She’d stopped fighting him and was sobbing silently in his chest.

“But, um… he’s gonna be okay?” Maya asks as she takes a seat on Vic’s other side.

“Hopefully,” Travis says softly. “Can you, um… can you stay here with her for a few moments? I need to make a phone call.”

“Of course.”

Vic says nothing. Travis stands up and goes down the hall. Maya gently wraps her arms around Vic.

“It’s gonna be okay,” the blonde says softly.

“No… what if… what if he doesn’t make it?”

“He’s gonna make it. He’s the Chief. And, he’s your boyfriend. He’s got someone worth living for,” Maya comforts her.

Despite the fact that she wasn’t a fan of the relationship when it first came to light and tried convincing Vic of how it was a bad idea, Maya understood that Vic and the Chief were in love. She’d seen it in the look on Ripley’s face when a few weeks before Vic had nearly gotten trapped in a building on the verge of collapse. She’d seen it in the softness in his eyes as he looked at her when she came out alive. She’d seen it in the way Vic had rushed to the scene, eyes wildly glancing around. She’d seen it when Vic had rushed towards her boyfriend when he came out of the building. And, Maya knew that Vic didn’t need her to tell her that her relationship with Ripley was a bad idea. Vic needed Maya to be there for her, and that’s what she was doing.

“Vic? Oh my God, are you okay?” a voice interrupted Maya’s train of thought and she glanced up to see that most of Station 19 had arrived. Gibson, Andy and Sullivan along with Warren. Sullivan stood away from the group, lost in thought. Andy seemed to contemplate talking to him but she didn’t. Instead Andy came over to Vic’s other side just as Travis returned. Warren was off to a Nurse’s Station and Travis updated everyone on the situation. As Sullivan stared numbly in front of him and Andy kind of hovered beside him, Miller burst in.

“I’m sorry I’m late- oh, Vic! Vic, you okay?” Miller asked before settling himself in the chair beside Andy.

But, Vic stayed silent except for the occasional gasp. She wasn’t sobbing anymore, but tears were still freely falling down her cheeks as she continued to burrow her face in Maya’s shoulder.

And, then, “hello, I’m Dr. Hunt.”

Vic, along with everyone else, looked up. Her heart was hammering in her chest and her throat constricted.

“We took Chief Ripley into surgery and were able to repair the internal bleeding. We also used skin grafts on some of the burns and debrided the others, that should heal. He also had some fluid in his lungs, but Dr. Pierce, our head of cardio repaired that. A neuro exam showed a small bleed, but Dr. Shepherd doesn’t want to do surgery yet as it may resolve on its own. We also put his shoulder in a better sling and he’s being brought up to his room right now.”

Vic lets out a shaky breath.

“Would you like to see him?”

“Y- yyes,” Vic stutters out and Sullivan stands up as well.

“I can take you. Are you family?”

“N- no,” Vic says and she can feel her stomach drop with anxiety. “His family’s kinda spread around the country. I’m his girlfriend,” Vic says and her voice breaks.

“Unfortunately, if you’re not family I can’t take you,” Dr. Hunt says and Vic feels as if she cannot breathe.

“Oh, come on!” Maya exclaims in a whisper.

“Hunt, c’mon, man, please. We at Seattle Fire Department, we’re family. We’re all each other’s family,” Warren starts and everyone kind of glances towards him. “Look, she needs to see him.” Hunt still looks skeptical. “What if this were you and Shepherd? You’d wanna see her, right?” Whoever Warren was referring to – the pretty brunette head of neuro – it hit a nerve and Hunt nodded.

“Alright, I’ll take _you_ , Hughes. Anyone else close to him?”

Sullivan stands up.

“Um, he’s my best friend, but uh it’s-”

“You should go,” Andy cuts him off. “At least to make sure Vic doesn’t bolt.”

“Alright, guess I’m coming too.”

Sullivan walks behind Vic, probably to make sure she doesn’t bolt as Hunt leads them to the ICU. He opens Lucas’ room and Vic lets out an audible gasp, hand flying to her mouth. Lucas is lying there, skin pale as tubes surround him while his upper body is covered in bandages. His hand is in a proper sling and there’s a tube in his mouth.

“We had to intubate him, so that’s breathing for him. If he’ll be able to breathe on his own when he wakes up, we’ll take the tube out.”

“Thanks, Dr. Hunt,” Sullivan manages to say.

“You can hold his hand if you like,” Dr. Hunt adds and Vic walks over to her boyfriend’s bedside. She takes his hand in her own.

Lucas looks unrecognizable, but his hand is warm in her own, and it’s soft, and it’s Lucas. So, Vic just holds his hand and cries while Sullivan stands beside her. Dr. Hunt leaves and then Sullivan leaves a few minutes later saying something about calling Lucas’ mom. Vic continues to hold Lucas’ hand and cries.

* * *

It’s a month later and the two of them are at home, eating dinner that Vic had cooked.

Lucas had been released from the hospital three weeks before, but now he’s much better. All his burns are healed, though some of them had left scarring, not that Vic cares. His shoulder was finally healed, the brain bleed had solved itself in a few days and his incision site from the surgery was healing.

But, the past few weeks had been different for Vic. And, Lucas noticed.

“Victoria, what is up with you?” Lucas asks and Vic looks up from her plate.

“Oh nothing, nothing’s up with me. I’m good. All good,” Vic quips, voice a little high pitched.

“Look, Vic, if you want to talk, I’m here. I’m always here. You know that, right?” Lucas’ tone is earnest and his very, very blue eyes are staring intensely into hers.

“Is there something, _you_ ’d like to talk about?” Vic asks.

“Nope. You clearly don’t want me to.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Vic bursts out.

“Ever since I was discharged you don’t actually want me to talk about how hard it is for me. Not, that you want to talk about your feelings either.”

“Seriously? That’s all you want? To talk? Okay, so talk,” Vic snaps, standing up and dumping her plate in the sink.

“Not like this. I’m serious, Victoria, what is going on? And, don’t say nothing.”

“Nothing’s going on, seriously!” Vic yells before walking over to the couch. At a slightly slower pace, Lucas follows.

“See, this is what I’m talking about. You’re sulking and not telling me any of it,” Lucas is trying to keep his voice calm, he really is, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult.

“What do you want me to say, Lucas? Huh?” Vic snaps again, but her voice is softer this time.

“I want you to tell me what is bothering you,” Lucas says, sitting down beside her. Vic cannot meet his gaze. Because if she does, he will see the tears that are pooled in her eyes. But, Lucas reaches out with his hand and Vic hesitates. And, then wrenches her hand form his grasp and stands up abruptly. Lucas stands, too.

“Oh, no, you don’t get to do this. I’m sick and tired of your sulking and internalizing all your problems and feelings. Just, talk to me,” Lucas coaxes, voice gentle and soft, tone a little begging.

“I’m not internalizing anything!” Vic snaps, getting angrier. She shouldn’t be. Rationally, she gets that Lucas is just concerned. But, nothing had been rational for Vic ever since Lucas had gotten hurt.

“Yes, you are! Look, I know things have been difficult ever since I got hurt, but that doesn’t mean that you should keep it all in. I’m here, talk to me-”

“You don’t get to say that,” Vic says, shaking her head.

“Victoria.”

“You don’t get to say that things were difficult,” she repeats, voice louder, tone angrier.

“This is you and me, Vic. Us. Talk to me-”

“You and me? You and me?”

“Yes, you and me.”

“You want me to say what I think and feel?”

“Yes!” Lucas yells, finally and Vic flinches.

“You almost died! I- I held your hand in the ambulance and then you-”

“Vic, I’m fine,” Lucas says weakly.

“I almost lost you! And, that terrifies the hell out of me! I haven’t- I haven’t felt like this ever before. You’re my first long relationship. You’re the first person I ever said I love you to. And, you almost died. You made a calculated decision to go into that building to save Station 12, and you went in. And, then that explosion- Lucas I saw it on TV. And, then I rushed to the scene and you- you were okay. Seriously hurt, but okay. And, then at the hospital, when they took me to your room…” one lone tear slides down her cheek and Vic swipes it angrily away. “There were so many, wires, so many tubes… I couldn’t breathe. But, your hand was still your hand and I held it.”

“I know,” he says softly, resting his hand on her arm.

“I almost- II almost lost you,” she whispers and then she crumbles in front of him, tears streaming down her face. She wraps her arms around herself, but she can’t hold it all in. Slowly, Lucas walks over to her and lays his hands on her shoulders. Vic flinches, shaking her head as she continues to cry. But, Lucas doesn’t let her. Instead, he gently pries her arms from around her waist and wraps his own around her. This time, she doesn’t fight him. He winces when Vic wraps her own arms around him, but doesn’t say anything. As Lucas tucks her head underneath his chin, Vic sobs, shoulders shaking. The apartment is quiet, the only noise is coming from the TV and Vic’s slowly subsiding sobs.

“I know,” he whispers again, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “I know. And, I am so sorry,” he whispers, voice raspy and broken. Vic continues to cling to him and he holds her because there’s nothing else he wants to do. Nothing else he _can_ do.

“They wouldn’t have called me,” she says after a while, pulling slightly away from him to look him in the eyes.

“Who?”

“The hospital. I… II want to be called,” she says and he nods.

“I love you,” he says, voice steady and strong. “I love you, so much, Victoria.”

“I am pretty lovable, huh?” She quips, wiggling her eyebrows. He chuckles through his own tears. “I love you, too, Lucas. I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

“I know. Me neither.”

And, then he kisses her, lips soft and salty from tears because he’d cried as well. And, she winds her arms around his neck and he wraps his around her waist. She deepens the kiss, pressing her body closer to his. The kiss is intense, passionate and heady, and when his hands grip the hem of her t-shirt – his t-shirt – she pulls slightly away.

“Are you okay for this?” she asks, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? Because-”

He kisses her again, intensely, and Vic deepens the kiss. He pulls her t-shirt over her head. Vic tugs at the hem of his and he breaks away long enough for her to peel it off. The rest of their clothes are thrown to the floor shortly and Vic wraps her leg around his waist and he picks her up effortlessly before carrying her to the bedroom. Vic lets out a squeal of delight when he all but throws her onto the bed.

“I love you,” she whispers as she kisses him again, all full of passion and intensity.

“I love you, too, Victoria,” Lucas replies when they pull away and kisses her again.


End file.
